I'm a very lonely tube of toothpaste

frankysplait:

glowcloud:

i love the Women Against Feminism that are like “I dont need feminism because i can admit i need my husband to open a jar for me and thats ok!” cause listen 1. get a towel 2. get the towel damp 3. put it on the lid and twist. BAM now men are completely useless. you, too, can open a jar. time to get a divorce

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herosargent:

avatardedpotterhead:

dicksconnected:

i dont understand why guys wont buy tampons because:

  1. NO one thinks theyre for you
  2. actually everyone thinks youre the sweetest person ever and there is a 103% chance i will date u
  3. nobody thinks theyre for you calm the fuck down

4. they’ll probably assume you have a girlfriend

5. no one cares if you buy pads/tampons. absolutely no one cares.

ohana-means-famiree:

poshcoughing:

americansavior:

itsjustsatanthings:

cumber-bitches:

caswantsdeansassbutt:

cumber-bitches:

cumber-bitches:

I have fruit polos and lollypops be jealous.

omg do many people not know what fruit polos are? they are heaven

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In America, we call them lifesavers. They can be chewy or hard candy. 

polos aren’t chewy and they also come in mint.

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this week on: britan thinks its special

This week on america copies everything from Britain.

HOLD THE FUCK UP

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reginamas:

i just told my mom i died at birth and i’ve been a ghost this entire time just growing and manifesting into the daughter she’d lost

and she’s just like

well please go to the light because i am tired of your shit